Non-Monogamy and Sex Therapy: Supporting Diverse Relationship Structures
As a sex therapist offering inclusive care in Washington, DC and Northern Virginia, I frequently support individuals and couples exploring non-monogamy. Whether you're curious about opening up your relationship, already practicing consensual non-monogamy (CNM), or navigating complex feelings around love and connection, sex therapy and couples counseling can help you feel more grounded, confident, and supported.
What is Non-Monogamy?
Non-monogamy refers to relationship agreements that allow for more than one sexual or romantic partner. It includes a broad range of relationship styles. While monogamy may be considered “the standard” for relationships, it’s important to understand that monogamy is not for everyone. Non-monogamy includes multiple types and those who practice CNM want to gravitate to style that makes most sense for them. Such as:
Open relationships – where one or both partners have sexual experiences with others
Polyamory – maintaining multiple romantic relationships with the knowledge and consent of all involved
Swinging – often focused on recreational sexual activity with other couples or individuals
Relationship anarchy – a philosophy that emphasizes freedom and fluidity in defining relationships
Monogamish -where the couple has sexual experiences with other peoople together
Unlike infidelity, ethical non-monogamy centers around mutual agreement, transparency, and continuous communication.
Why Do People Choose Non-Monogamy?
Unfortunately, when people here about CNM sometimes they wrongfully assume it’s so people can “cheat” on each other while feeling good about it. But in my experience as a sex therapist, that isn’t a fair characterization. There are so many different reasons people choose to practice CNM.
Clients may explore non-monogamy for many reasons, including:
Personal values aligned with autonomy or freedom
Desire for diverse sexual or emotional experiences
Relationship evolution over time
A wish to break away from traditional relationship norms
For many people, CNM feels more like an orientation than a preference. It’s a relationship style that feels right for them, is done with open, respectful, and continual communication with their partner(s). It’s also really important to understand that non-monogamy isn't a "fix" for problems. If your starting your journey into CMN as a couple, it is critical that both people feel that it is right for them and the relationship. Where things can go awry is when it’s one person who wants it, while the other doesn’t at all. It also shouldn’t be the call of action if it’s being done to “save the relationship.” I’m here to say that just as having a baby in times of relationship turmoil will not “save your relationship,” neither will CNM. However, when it’s practiced intentionally, it can offer meaningful, expansive ways to connect. It can be incredible for many relationships and help provide a much needed component that many people need.
How Relationship Therapy Supports Non-Monogamous Relationships
If you’re in or considering a non-monogamous relationship, working with a sex-positive therapist can help you. Not only does it sometimes take an educated and accepting third party to help naviagte CNM but therapy can also be a space where common issues get fleshed out and worked through. Such as:
Set healthy emotional and physical boundaries
Communicate effectively with multiple partners
Cope with jealousy and explore compersion
Understand attachment styles within CNM systems
Rebuild trust or navigate transitions (such as opening up a formerly monogamous relationship)
As a provider of sex therapy and couples counseling in DC and Virginia, I work with both monogamous and non-monogamous clients, and my practice affirms LGBTQ+ identities, kink communities, and alternative relationship models.
Reducing Stigma Through Affirming Therapy
Many people exploring non-monogamy experience societal judgment or internalized shame. Therapy offers a validating space to explore your relationship choices without fear of bias. Unfortunately, not all therapists are trained in non-monogamous dynamics, which is why working with a sex therapist familiar with these frameworks can make a significant difference.
If you're seeking nonjudgmental support around non-monogamy, polyamory, or open relationships, I offer affirming sex therapy and couples counseling in Washington, DC and Northern Virginia. Contact me today to schedule a consultation.
