Embracing the Single Life: 5 Ways How Being Single Can Be a Superpower with the Help of Sex and Relationship Therapy
In a world where relationships are often seen as the ultimate goal, it’s easy to forget that being single can actually be a powerful, transformative experience. The truth is, being single can be an opportunity to reconnect with yourself, prioritize your pleasure, and learn to embrace your needs in ways that can ultimately improve your future relationships—romantic or otherwise. Being single is actually one of the best ways to learn what you really need AND want. Here’s how being single can be your superpower and how sex therapy and relationship therapy can support you through this process, even when you're not currently partnered.
Being Single is a Time to Reclaim Your Identity
One of the most empowering aspects of being single is the opportunity to reconnect with who you are outside of a relationship. Without the influence of a partner, you have the space to explore your passions, hobbies, and desires without compromise. This is a time to redefine your personal values, goals, and needs. You can focus on your mental, physical, and emotional well-being, allowing yourself to flourish in ways that may not have been possible when you were sharing your life with someone else.
Sex therapy can also help you deepen your self-awareness and understand your sexual identity and desires, even if you’re not in a relationship. Working with a specialized AASECT-certified sex and relationship therapist can help you explore your pleasure and desires in a safe, non-judgmental space, giving you the tools to thrive as a single person and in any future relationships.
2. A Time To Reprioritize YOUR Pleasure
When in a relationship, it’s easy to fall into the trap of putting your partner’s needs above your own. Before you know it, many of your hobbies, free time, and commitments center around your partner. While compromise is key in healthy relationships, being single offers a unique chance to focus exclusively on your own desires. This is the time to explore your own sexual pleasure—experiment with what excites you, understand your body better, and embrace your sexual identity fully. Being single is a great time to get in tune with what turns you on. The better you know what you like in bed, the better it will serve you when you’re in a relationship.
You can spend time learning what turns you on and engage in practices like mindfulness, body scans, or self-pleasure techniques that encourage body awareness. Sex therapy provides a great foundation to discover what feels good for you and how to incorporate pleasure into your daily life. When you understand and prioritize your own pleasure, you can also build the confidence to communicate your needs in future relationships.
3. Learning to Be "Selfish" in a Healthy Way
Being selfish doesn’t always have to be a negative thing. When we talk about being "selfish" in the context of being single, it’s about learning how to prioritize your own needs without guilt or shame. For many of us, the pressure to please others can lead to neglecting our own needs, especially when it comes to pleasure and self-care. Being single is a time to understand that your needs matter and that you are worthy enough to have your needs met, cared for, and nurtured. If you learn how to treat yourself well when you’re single, you won’t except anything less from a romantic partner.
Being single really allows you to take a step back and fully understand your own needs—emotionally, sexually, and personally. Whether it’s setting boundaries, saying "no" when something doesn’t serve you, or simply choosing activities that bring you joy, being single can help you practice the art of healthy selfishness. And believe it or not, relationship therapy can also benefit you during this time, helping you set strong boundaries and recognize what is truly important to you, so you can carry these skills into future relationships.
4. Building Emotional Resilience and Independence
Learning to be comfortable in your own company is a form of emotional resilience. The more you embrace your singlehood, the more you learn to navigate life’s challenges independently. You become less reliant on others to provide your happiness or sense of fulfillment, a common trap that we relationship experts see in our therapy room. By learning how to dispel the notion that being single is simply “surviving” until you find “the one,” you actually learn how to thrive with both your confidence and self-worth getting boosts as well. When you see that increase of your self-esteem, it’s then that youu develop a deeper understanding of your needs in relationships.
Working with a specialized sex therapist can further strengthen your emotional resilience. Even if you are not currently in a relationship, therapy can help you develop the tools to cope with challenges, understand your attachment patterns, and manage emotions effectively.
5. Cultivating Healthy Relationships with Others
When you’re in a good place with yourself, you are more likely to form relationships that are mutually respectful and fulfilling. Being single can be a time to heal from past relationships, set clear boundaries and expectations for those in your life, and learn how to communicate more effectively in a way that serves you holistically.
By learning to love and care for yourself, you raise the standard for the types of relationships you want to invite into your life. Relationship therapy provides insight into building healthy, secure connections with others, even when you’re single. It can be especially beneficial for setting relationship goals, understanding what you need from a partner, and preparing to enter a relationship when the time is right.
Don’t Forget: You Are Your Own Superpower
Being single isn’t a waiting period or a sign of something lacking in your life—it’s an opportunity to take control of your own narrative, embrace your independence, and learn more about yourself than you ever could when sharing your life with someone else. By prioritizing your pleasure, becoming emotionally resilient, and learning how to embrace "healthy selfishness," you position yourself to thrive as a single person—and set the stage for the most fulfilling relationships in the future.
As an AASECT Certified Sex and relationship therapist based in Northern Virginia and Washington DC, I specialize in helping individuals and couples navigate their sexual and emotional needs. Whether you're single or partnered, therapy can offer valuable tools to help you prioritize your pleasure, set healthy boundaries, and build stronger, more fulfilling relationships. So, if you're single, consider it your superpower. Own it, explore it, and let it empower you to become the best version of yourself.
