Are you in a Sexless Relationship? How Sex Therapy Can Help Reignite the Spark
If you’ve ever used the word “roommate” or “partnership of convenience” to describe your romantic relationship, you have joined the ranks of many couples where sex has taken a back seat to life or completely fallen off altogether. One important things to know is that you are not alone! The great news is that it’s entirely possible to rekindle that spark and learn how to rev up the engines of romance to get your relationship back to a place of closeness and passion.
As an AASECT-certified sex therapist, serving Northern Virginia and Washington, DC residents, I work with countless couples who find themselves in a sexless marriage or relationship. Many are not only struggling to reconnect with intimacy, but they’re struggling emotionally as well. Whether it’s been weeks, months, or even years since you've had sex, it can feel really painful, isolating, and deeply shameful.
The good news? You can change the narrative—and sex therapy offers a powerful path forward.
What Is a Sexless Marriage or Sexless Relationship?
A sexless relationship is typically defined as one where couples have sex fewer than 10 times per year, but it’s less about the number and more about how the lack of intimacy affects each partner. While I have met couples who are perfectly fine with a sexless marriage, it’s when one or both partners are not ok with it and the lack of physical intimacy has led to feelings of rejection, distance, and even resentment. If one or both people feel unhappy, then it’s important to start paying attention to—and seeking support.
You may or may not be surprised to learn that couples can go months, years, or even decades without acknowledging they’re in a sexless relationship. One big reason for this is that there’s usually a huge amount of shame, embarrassment, and anxiety about it.. But no matter how long sex has been missing, it is incredibly important for long-term happiness and satisfaction that couples take the brave step of seeking help and support.
In couples counseling and sex therapy, couples learn how to start having the difficult conversations, learning to navigate and overcome the discomfort, and then gain the tools to start reinventing their relationship and sex life.
But first…..
Why Does Sexual Intimacy Disappear?
The simple answer is that it’s not that simple. There are so many reasons sex can disappear. Common issues include, but are not limited to:
Emotional distance or unresolved conflict
Performance anxiety or sexual dysfunction
Mismatched libido or desire differences
Postpartum changes, parenting exhaustion
Medical conditions, hormone shifts
Shame, trauma, or negative sexual messaging
As an AASECT-certified sex therapist, I specialize in helping couples explore these issues with compassion, clarity, and without judgment. Together, we look at what’s really driving the disconnection—and how to build a sexual connection that feels good, safe, and mutually satisfying.
What Happens in Sex Therapy?
If you're searching for "sex therapist near me", you're likely already feeling vulnerable. Know that sex therapy is never about shaming or pushing you to meet some cultural standard of what “normal sex” should look like. Instead, it’s a collaborative, affirming process where we explore:
Emotional and physical roadblocks to intimacy
How to communicate openly about sex, needs, and desires
Rebuilding trust and affection after periods of distance
Healing sexual shame, anxiety, or trauma
Practical exercises to reconnect—physically and emotionally
You’ll learn tools that go beyond the bedroom and help you feel like teammates again, not just co-parents, roommates, or logistics managers. And a huge part is learning how to become lovers again. Sex therapy helps couples unlock dormant parts of their relationship that many have thought were long gone. It’s a process that helps couples go from roommates back to lovers who share eroticism, passion, and pleasure together.
Sex Therapy in Northern Virginia and Washington DC
If you're in the DC Metro area and searching for help with a sexless marriage or relationship, know that support is available. I provide relationship therapy for intimacy issues that’s trauma-informed, sex-positive, and inclusive of all identities and relationship structures. Whether you're monogamous, open, queer, or neurodivergent, this space is designed for you.
My practice serves clients in:
Northern Virginia (Reston, Arlington, Alexandria, Fairfax)
Washington, DC and surrounding neighborhoods
In-person and secure teletherapy options available for VA & DC residents
Rebuilding Intimacy Is Possible—Let’s Start Together
A sexless marriage doesn’t mean a hopeless marriage. The first step is by far the hardest. But it is completely worth it to get you and your relationship back to a place of love, passion, intimacy, and closeness. If you're feeling stuck, disconnected, or unsure how to move forward, sex therapy can help you understand each other again—and feel close again.
Book a free consultation with a sex therapist in Northern VA or Washington DC today. Let’s start rebuilding intimacy—on your terms.
